noone listens
23.02.04 at 14:27

today was fieldtrip. nice. update later when im not so pissed and depressed. i think that the whole world should just go jump down the cliff or sth. i feel so damn pissed. i think the world shoutd be nicer and not be so insensitive. i never knew that i would feel like this and tho i dun show it. but it sucks. argh. i think the whole world should die. including me. urgh. i think im not heard enough. damn. but then i guess it's cuz pple are not used to me talking out. guess it takes time. ive been talking this kind of shit ever since it happened. so uncontrolled. i cant stand it. ive always been a middleman. ive never been my own person. (sounds like JLC) i hate it. it's either i cant do anything to help, or it just turns out worse because NOONE LISTENS. argh. and though it may seem like it's not my fault (actually it aint at all) but im indirectly affected but noone knoes. as uausl. this is the first time that life has got me trapped in such a tight corner. urgh. i cant stop thinking about it. i think my exceptional highs are due to my unhappiness but i think that my brain's screwing everything up. i think somehow it got this signal that the sadness is to be masked. i did all the masking i ever did in my life til now in sec one. now it's back. must be the fact that im watching too much tv. bad infuence. i think it's saiyuki. but nothing will stop mw from watching that. argh. but i dun exactly wanna end up like hakkai. haish. it's not that bad but it aint good either. stressed.

i really like saiyuki's alone. it sounds happy yet sad. damn weird. but i just love it. i think it's my favourite. hah. so fast. til later.. haha.